A Day In the Life of an Unemployed Graduate

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

9:30am: phone alarm rings. "Who the fuck set that?" I think to myself. "Oh right...it was a brief moment of resolve to do something with my day."
9:30:05am: shut off phone alarm. Snuggle with my teddy bear (she's cute, I promise.)
10am: dad yells at me.
10:00:01-10:00:15: ignore dad.
11am: grumble. Think I should probably do something with my life. Ignore thoughts.
11:10am: give in to the inner voice.
11:15am: Really. This time I give in to the voice telling me to get up.
11:20am: Ok. Up for real this time.
11:30am: Stumble out of bed.
11:45am: Kitchen to grab food.
12:30pm: Finally figure out what food to eat. Proceed to forget as I am distracted by internetz.
1pm: Oh right. Food. That's why stomach won't stop making noise.
1:30pm: Wash dishes. YES, something responsible for the day done!
1:40pm: Now what?
1:40pm-8pm: These hours don't exist. I have no recollection what I do during this time, except that nothing comes out of it.
8pm: Watch So You Think You Can Dance. Revealing the Top 20 tonight!
9pm: Watch GLEE!!!! (this is obviously a Wednesday.)
9:40pm: Inevitable phone call from friend attempting to make connection. Ignored. Will Schuester is too important to me.
10pm: Watch Top Chef: Las Vegas and remember I haven't eaten dinner yet. Again, I am distracted.
11:15pm: Wonder why Top Chef ends at such a weird hour. Realize food has not been consumed. Grab small and inevitably unhealthy snack food item, pretend it's fine as a substitute for dinner.
11:30pm: Stomach grumbles. Fuck, I should have eaten.
11:45pm: Ignore dad telling me to grab apple. Prepare full meal.
Midnight: Shit. Shouldn't have eaten all that, going to be awake for hours.
12:02am: Realize it doesn't matter how much I ate or how long I'll be awake. I have zero to do tomorrow.
12:30am: Say I'm going to go to sleep. Go to room. Grab iPod Touch, which conveniently has internet access on it.
3am: Turn off iPod Touch. Dammit.
3:01am: Set phone alarm for 9:30am. I WILL be productive tomorrow. i WILL!
3:03am: Turn on iPod Touch. I've just remembered something that just HAS to be checked tonight.
4:30am: Fall asleep with iPod Touch still in my hand.
9:30am: Fuck this alarm. Snooze.

It's quite fulfilling.


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I'm fairly obsessed with penguins, Peanuts (the comic), and the TV show Friends. Parentheses may or may not be (over)used in this blog, and books will pretty much be the only thing I ever talk about because they are my One True Love.


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The Dragon's EyeAngelsThe Lightning ThiefThe Man of My DreamsCity of GlassCity of Ashes

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