Well...I finally did it.

If you read my blog in a Reader, you know that I had a post at the beginning of June about quitting my job.  And I don't know how many of you ever travel over to read my real blog from there, but you'll see that the post is no longer there.  It was written in a time of frustration, and while everything I said remains true...it's probably best not to have that on the inter-webs.  Especially when I'm going to try and get back to blogging and using this as a platform for other jobs.

BUT.

You know how that entire post was about me finally going to grow some girlballs and quit because I was miserable?   Well...I DID IT!  I QUIT! I'M A FREE WOMAN! I'M SO INCREDIBLY STUPID FOR LEAVING A JOB IN THIS ECONOMIC TIME! WOOOOO!

Really, though: I spoke to my boss about leaving.  "Transitioning," if you will.  And I didn't necessarily quit; they were nice enough to offer having me stay on part-time.  So, July is my last month full-time with them, and starting in August I work there part-time.  Probably an as-needed basis.  So, that'll be nice to have some sort of meager income while I flounder about.

For the first week after I had made the decision (I talked to my boss June 30), I had serious graduation goggles.  The beginning of the month was kind of slow, which gave me the opportunity to catch up on a lot of things I'd been dragging on, and my boss wasn't ragging on me for the tiniest things and everything was going really...well.  Schedules were set, accounts were falling into place, clients weren't yelling at me...it was almost enough to make me doubt my decision.

And then that week was done, another began and now, more than ever, I am absolutely positive of my decision.  The last few weeks have been some of the worst of my entire duration at this job.  I don't know if the world collectively decided to come together to make my life a shithole, but it definitely felt like it.  Contracts were rolling in, phone calls started piling up, emails went unanswered, bids were sitting for a week, people were yelling at me, clients were upset with me...I literally walked out of my office mid-email for my lunch break because I couldn't take it anymore and just needed a breather.

And personal things started happening.  I was unhappy for a number of reasons, friends' lives were starting to spiral, tragedies happened, friendships were strained...it wasn't really a good time.  July is always a rough month because so much happens during it.  There's always events and family things and Comic-con (IT IS A BIG DEAL) and weddings and pretty much anything that can happen will in some form.  So combining all that together...well, life wasn't quite what I liked at the time.

I've had a few days to really evaluate just how dumb it is for me to have quit a job that wants me and needs me and will have me in a time where jobs in general don't exist.  And the conclusion is: this is the right choice.  I don't care for this position, which is not fair to me or the company I'm with.  I'm absolutely miserable a good 97% of the time, and I've gained the max amount of learning I really can without extending further.  And the more I'm here, the less I'm doing something that really matters to me.

Sometimes the stupidest decisions are the smartest thing to do.  (Right?)

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I've got like 978234789 drafts going right now, but I just need to vent at the moment.

It's been a pretty shitty past week or so.

• Brother's best friend's father passed away.  Sort of suddenly? He was sick about a year and a half ago, but since then we've all thought he was fine.  Well, July 5 he was gone. And it is sad and tragic and horrible and I just want to hug J & G forever.
• One of my best friend's is having problems at home.  No specifics (mostly because I don't quite know them), but I know they're making her upset and sad, which makes me upset and sad.
• A woman backed into my car in a parking lot.  She was nice enough to not drive off and we switched info; it seemed like it was just a simple scratch, but turns out parts of my car are bent and dented so I am going to have to get it checked out.  The thing that sucks was the woman was old (87-years-old) and I felt kind of bad for her, but then she started trying to play the whole "oh I'm such a frail old woman please take pity on me."  No, woman: you were driving, and old and crinkly and creaky as you may be, you best be taking responsibility for it.  I was feeling bad about it, but the second you started going off on how you're just so old and don't drive too often anymore and you're so small and bent over...you're done.
• Bossman texted me during my lunch hour and said he "needed" me, even though I was only about 30 minutes into my hour break.  I rushed back to the office...and he didn't pick up his phone. Or email me.  Or ANYTHING.  I was super pissed, mostly because I was having a good writing session at Starbucks.
• We fired (unfairly, in my opinion) our tech support because my boss preferred a newer one.  Well, this new one sucks.  He doesn't respond to anything, and when you call his office all they do is tell you to "email Support and we'll get on it."  No, no you don't.  Thanks for making MY job harder.
• New girl starts at work tomorrow.  That part is good - the bad is how far behind I am definitely going to fall now that I have to train her.  It is literally stressing me out thinking about it.
• I haven't seen him since mid-May, and it worries me how much I miss him.  I hardly know him.  Dammit.

And that's been the last few days of my life.  *Deep breathe in*

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