Creep-Out: Men With Long Nails
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Tell me: is there any reason why a man would have long nails? And I mean LONG. Longer than mine (and mine are currently quite extensive. Nothing Guinness Book long, but enough). I honestly want to know if there is any sensible reason.
Not saying women have a sensible reason to have long nails. It's a whole vanity thing. Plus, it's a fun canvas.
The man ringing up my purchases today at Borders (bought The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova. Highly recommended to me, and on sale for $6!) had ridiculously long nails, and I couldn't help but be entirely creeped out. It was definitely past the point of laziness and neglect; it was plain length. I'm pretty sure he tapped the keys on the register with his nails; and I know for a fact that if he were to type on a keyboard, he would have to readjust his finger placement.
So, I wonder: why?! The only reason I've ever known men to have long nails is for drug use. General assumption is long pinky nails = powdered drug use. Borders Man did have 10 fingers with long nails, so...lots of drug use?
Really. If you have an answer for me as to why a man would have that, any sort of idea, I'm open to it. I felt bad for feeling a bit of revulsion when he reached out to take my money. And it's not like he had dirty nails, either (that is a HUGE turn-off for me)--they were fine. Nothing extraordinarily clean, but it didn't have little flecks of dirt flying off. I don't think it helped that he was in a very crabby mood (frowny-face) and had really long, very greasy black hair. It just didn't help paint his image that well.
On a semi-related but not really note, I went next door to the Best Buy and purchased I Love You, Man (hi Sarah!). The guy who rang me up was super nice! Very nice. He asked how my day was, and then started talking to me about the movie, and asked about my life, and asked what I'd done that day, and...asked...and asked...and kept asking. Still nice, but suspicious. I mean, he was the only checker and there was a line behind me. And then I figured it out: he liked my voice. My "I've been sick for two and a half weeks, am now in the coughing stage, croaking" voice. What is it about this sick voice that everyone says is so "sexy"?! The two times in my life I've had laryngitis, all the boys came barkin' up this tree because they thought my voice was "sexy." Please; I sound like I'm dying or I'm about to projective vomit all over you. That ain't sexy.
Unless I'm wrong.
And before you ask, Best Buy Boy was cute...but young. Probably 16. Talk to me in 20 years, kid.
