In 10 years I'll be 33.

Despite the fact I am embarrassingly late accepting this, the wonderful Tasha gave me an award!

We all know I'm a travel buff, so I was super excited when I saw the image!  I mean, it has France on it.  I have to like it!  I'm incredibly grateful, and encourage you to check out Tasha's blog here.  And her Sunday Photography one here.  And her personal (and very honest and brave) blog here.  I swear, you won't be disappointed by any of those.

The "terms" of this award was to write down where you see yourself in 10 years.  Sounds simple, right?

Wrong.

I'm a big planner.  Always have been.  I get a delicious satisfaction from seeing my calendar filled months in advance, and you can bet your booty that I have a small planner for next year already.  But ever since I graduated college and later lost my job...things haven't been so planned.  First it started out that I simply wasn't sure what to do, or if I could support what I wanted to do, or how to go about it.  And then it turned into questioning what I wanted to do, and why I was choosing to do what I thought I wanted to do.  And then it turned into a full-on "Oh my God did I just waste 23 years?"

For the first time in my life, I do not know what my future will bring.  And I am terrified.  I feel lost, like I'm floundering about in this big ocean of possibility and potential and there is nothing that I can see to keep me afloat.  I'm starting to realize that things I thought were so sure in my life, in fact...aren't.

The odd thing is, I still have a lot of hope in my life.  I still know what I enjoy, what I like, the opportunities I have.  And I know that somehow, things will work out.  I just don't right now, and I'm fighting hard to get past that.

The other thing that's been a bit weird is that had I answered this 5 years ago, 2 years ago, probably even this time last year...I wouldn't even have mentioned marriage, a relationship, sharing my life with anyone.  I have no idea what changed this, or why it changed, but...I'm starting to believe that eventually I do want to be married.  I want to have someone to share life with, to hope and dream and experience with.  I used to be the girl who said no, I didn't need to be married, I don't find it necessary.  And in a way I still don't find it to be essential to my life.  But I would like it now.  I guess I'm just growing up.  Or something.

So, in 10 years...I hope to be on my way to becoming something doing what really makes me happy.  I hope to be learning, and experiencing, and living my life.  And, if it's meant to be, I'll be doing all of that with someone I love at my side.

And if I happen to be living in France at the time, I'll take that, too.

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Flowers and sunshine and awards!

Melissa, one of my aaaaabsolute favourites, was incredibly kind to give me another blog award!

....four weeks ago.

Yeah, it's taken me four weeks to formally accept.  I suck, but I acknowledge said suckiness and apologize profusely for it!  I'm supersupersuper grateful to Melissa for thinking of me!  And this is a fun one, because it's got rules!

The Sunshine Blog Award is awarded to bloggers whose positivity and creativity inspire others in the blog world. The rules for accepting the award are:

1. Put the logo on your blog or within your post
2. Pass the award to 5 bloggers
3. Link the nominees within your post
4. Let them know they received this award by commenting on their blog
5. Share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award
6. Share 5 things about yourself

So, let's get this show on the road!  As per my usual, I'm deferring passing along; but the good news is that I will be passing along my lovely awards in about a week or two! Once I get my blogging life and blog roll set up.  As for #5, I will share this love forever and always, because Melissa is kind of one of the best bloggers ever.  I love reading her posts; she's so funny and interesting and creative with just the perfect splash of nerdy.  Besides, we get the John Mayer love--this stands alone as a reason for unending adoration. I beg you to go check out her blog.

Now, 5 Things About Me.  I tried to do things that you wouldn't be able to figure out through my blog.

--01--

When someone onscreen winks directly into the camera, I immediately wink back. I physically cannot keep from doing it. I was almost caught once, but played it off as something in my eye. This applies to pictures of people winking, too.  But it has to be directly into the camera, else I won't do it.

--02--

I used to hate telling people what music I listen to because I was afraid they would make fun of me. I still kind of get music anxiety when people find out what I listen to, but I'm slowly learning to get over it because music is personal and if someone can't see that, then they can suck it.  In an effort to help this along, these are the last 6 albums added to my music collection:

Francis and the Lights [It'll Be Better] - Mumford & Sons [Sigh No More] - Christina Aguilera [Bionic]
Drake [Thank Me Later] - Eminem [Recovery] - Promises, Promises Official 2010 Broadway Cast Recording

--03--

I get second-hand embarrassment reaaaallly bad.  You know, when you get embarrassed for someone else, usually when that person isn't embarrassed at all but you are for them.  It's pretty bad with TV (which is why I don't watch much reality TV), to the point where I will mute so I can't hear it and/or pull up the Guide on the screen so it makes the picture really small.  It's all very strange, because I'm not easily embarrassed about things I do (even if I probably should be).

--04--

I have a slightly addictive personality and a tendency towards escapism (if ever a true Pisces...). These two combined are the main reason behind minimal alcohol consumption, because I fear where it would lead.

--05--

Two surefire ways to make me feel all warm 'n squishy inside are to a) kiss me on the forehead, and b) call me "love."  There's just something so fond and heartwarming about both those actions that make my insides all wobbly--even if it's just a friend doing it.  Love love love it.

Secret extra number --06--!

The voice in my head (not psycho schizophrenia voices, mind you) has a British accent.

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blackberry-less but still having a lovely time. with a bloggy award, too!

I was trying to find a pic of my phone to put in here, but then I ran across this and became obsessed with the straw and had to post it.  It still counts because there's a BB in the picture!

01. My BlackBerry has met its end (insert extreme sad face here).  We're not actually sure if it has officially died; there's a chance it's just the battery, but two of the three test batteries we managed to procure did not work.  So, new battery is being shipped, and come Monday I shall know if my BB has returned to me.  On a related note, did you know neither Best Buy nor AT&T sell BlackBerry batteries in store?!  What is wrong with them??  Verizon does, but at the lovely cost of $40.  Um, that's literally quadruple the amount of the replacement phone I'm using (I actually mean literally.  And before people go on accusing me of having such a cheap phone, hey man...it's the family spare, and so far it's held up for at least 2 years total time of use.  That's more than my BlackBerry did).

02. I am watching Bring It On (thanks USA channel for airing turn-of-the-millennium movies!)and still laugh that my high school's cheerleaders are in it.  Their part is so comical to me (even though it's really not).

03. One of my local libraries had a large book sale these past 3 days and it has been detrimental on my bank account.  But how could I possibly turn down books for 50 cents or $1?!  Five new books have been acquired at my house for the fee of $4.50.  And I may go back tomorrow. And yeah, $4.50 is classified in my world as "detrimental to my bank account."

04. Remember the two outfielders mentioned in my Shadowed By A W(ang) post?  In an odd coincidence, I ran into both of them yesterday!  Not surprisingly, both were smoking at the time.  But I have to say, it's kind of nice to know some things don't change.

05. My mother and I spent 3 hours reading on a couch in Borders, and it was an absolutely lovely time.  We also thumbed through a "What Your Birthday Says About You" book for shits and giggles, and it was a surprisingly accurate account of us (plus my dad and brother).  I'm not saying my mom and I really do believe in astrology and numerology and all that stuff, but...when I hit on you and ask hey baby, what's your sign, I probably actually want to know.

06.  Saturday is my grandfather's birthday: Happy Birthday Grandpa!  A celebratory birthday dinner is happening at my grandparent's casa, so I get to see my family again.  This may be more of the extended family though, so it should be...weird.  12 people is manageable, but when it extends past 20, it gets kind of crazy in the house.  As entertaining as my aunts, uncles and other cousins are, I'm not sure I'll be in the mood to handle it all.

07.  Lastly but never least, the amazing Tasha has given me a bloggy award!  I implore you to check out her blog; I remember the first time I ran across it, I immediately saw pictures of books and yummy pizza and then a whole post devoted to the Google logos (which I happen to love as well!  Did we all see the interactive Pac-Man logo for yesterday? So awesome).  I mean, if that is not entirely endearing and an instant follow, I don't know what is.  And ever since, I've grown to love her even more.

The award also dictates that it has to be passed along to 12 people, but I've seen the award on others' blogs and the number seems to change.  So, because I'm lame like this and did this for the other award so nicely given to me, I'm deferring passing along until I can properly interact in the blogosphere again. 

And secret sneak-up number 08. Happy Weekend everyone!  I hope it's absolutely fantastic :)

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Fair warning, readers: This post contains a picture of me. And some fill in the blanks!

And by a picture of me, I mean a terrible, horrible, no good very bad sleep-the-night-before picture.

You'll see in a few seconds.

I'm a terrible bloggy friend.  I respond to comments, but I always do it late (I have a habit of checking my email the moment I wake up, so I'm not in any sort of state to form cohesive, sensible responses).  And by late, I mean months later.  I don't know what it is, and I'm trying harder at it.  But with all the bloglazy I've gone through this month, I have fallen embarrassingly far behind.

That in mind...I got a blog award!  From the super amazing David, whose blog I insist you visit because it is also super amazing and one of my favourites--and let's face it, whose opinions can you trust more than mine?  That's right: no one.  So, I'm incredibly thankful, and this is serious y'all--it has rules with it, too!

The rules for this one:
1. Get really excited that you got the coolest award EVER.
2. Choose ONE of the following options for accepting the OMB! award:
(a) Get really drunk and blog for 15 minutes straight, or for as long as you can focus.
(b) Write about your most embarrassing moment.
(c) Write a "Soundtrack of your childhood" blog.
(d) Make your next blog a "vlog", or video blog. Basically, you talking to the camera about whatever.
(e) Take a picture of yourself first thing in the morning, before you do anything else (makeup, brush hair, pee, etc.) and post it.
3. Pass the award on to at least three, but preferably more, awesome bloggers like yourself. Don't forget to tell them (duh).

1. Believe me, it happened.  You missed the party.
2. Here's the thing: I don't get drunk and I don't have the means to make a vlog, so those two were out.  My most embarrassing moment relates to being sick and I've had enough of that this month; and the soundtrack to my childhood is the entire discography of Boyz II Men, Queen, Elton John, The Police, Michael Jackson, Ace of Base and All-4-One.  So, I'm pretty much defaulted to the picture of myself first thing in the morning.  It ain't pretty kids.  I slept for maybe 4 hours, and those measly hours were quite fitful. I was considering putting off the picture until the next day, but I'd already taken so much time since getting the award that I just sucked it up.

You see that awful double bag under one eye and the massive bag under the other?!  Yeah. Pitiful. I am going to be so wrinkly when I'm old...*sigh*  And consider yourself special, because few pictures after 2006 exist of me without glasses.

What disturbs me most is that...I don't do much else to my appearance before I go out.  I'm totally that girl who can roll out of bed and walk out the door without a second thought.  I don't wear make-up, except the occasional eyeliner and mascara (I don't even own any aside from that).  Just add glasses and we have my every day look.  I even took a picture later in the day for comparison's sake.

Hair is damp and unbrushed--apologies.

You would think this would compel me to put more consideration in my daily appearance, but...ehhh.  Maybe one day I will, but for now I'm ok like this.  Did I purposely post this on a Friday, when I know a lot of people don't/won't read blogs before the weekend so theoretically less people will see my horrid sleep deprived self?  Perhaps.  But aside from the small vain moments, I'm ok for now.

As for 3. I feel like I haven't been active enough in the bloggy world lately to really pick and choose people to pass it along to, so imma cheat a bit and defer passing it along until later when I'm fully returned to interacting.

Lastly, because I don't participate in enough blog memes (sarcasm font), I thought I'd participate in Fill-In-the-Blank Friday!  I've been a longtime follower of the little things we do and figured it is high time to join in the fun.  Similar to ToT, head over to her blog and link up if you participate, too!

1. My absolute favourite movie of all time is The Sound of Music.  I know, I know, I get ridiculed all the time, but it holds such a dear place in my heart I can never let it go.

2. My favourite movie as a child was The Sound of Music.  Wait, can I use that twice?  Also Beauty and the Beast and Toy Story.  And The Sandlot, The Mighty Ducks, and Hook.

3. The best movie quote ever is from The Breakfast Club.  "Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place."

4. My favourite actress is __________ and my favourite actor is ____________.  I don't really choose favourites in actors...I will love Denzel Washington for all my life and highly respect Matt Damon, but I don't know if I can label them with favourite.  As for actresses, I tend to favor Kate Winslet (I've never seen all of Titanic though, so don't go pushing that on me) and Sandra Bullock, but again...no favourites.  If I want to be Meryl Streep, does that make her it?

5. The movie I could watch over and over again is You've Got Mail and Pride & Prejudice (the Keira Knightley version).  Seriously, I think I've watched both at least six times each this past month.

6. My favorite movie genre is dependent upon my mood.  Normally I'm always down for comedy, but sometimes I just need a good romantic comedy or drama.

7. A movie I'd like to watch this weekend is Date Night, Bright Star or Precious.  The latter two are waiting in my computer to be watched, I just haven't gotten to it yet.  And I'd more than likely go gay for Tina Fey in a heartbeat, so of course I want to see her movie.  OH and I just realized, I do need to watch Les Poupees Russes (the French film follow-up to L'auberge Espagnole, arguably the best French film ever.  Yeah, I'm lookin' at you, Amelie.) because it's due at the library on Tuesday.

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I have to say I'm 23 now.

Back at our apartment in Ickenham (I think...somewhere London!)

Me and my brother, back when we were wee young kiddies.  I was trying so hard to hold up that cake...so proud.  Weren't we freakin' adorable?  My brother especially.  I don't know what happened to both of us...such potential.

As noted, it was my birthday this past Friday (much thanks to those who wished me a happy birthday!), but things have been kind of strange with the responsibilities stacking up that happens when a military kid turns 23.  I did get to go to a lovely dinner with my family on Saturday night, and I was able to go out with a small, select group of friends Friday night for a yummy dinner as well.  There was drama, and I did get a bit upset so it wasn't the best of nights, but overall it was a rather decent run.  It definitely beats the birthday I was dumped (6th grade! So naturally, I was heartbroken beyond belief) and the birthday my first year in college when I had a final and later found out I indeed failed the class--which was not only the first university class I ever failed, but the first class I'd ever received lower than a C on in my entire life.

Oh 19th birthday, you slay me.

Anyhow.  Don't say "aww" to me or feel bad, because I've never really cared too much about my birthday.  The fact that I did something for it pretty much makes it much more memorable than most of the rest.  Next weekend will be the full celebration with my friends, so hopefully I'll have some fun stories and pictures to share with you then!

No pictures of these last two dinner celebrations (I was entirely too focused on the pizookie from BJ's Restaurant & Brewhouse and the delish barbecue sauce and apple butter from Lucille's.  So bad for me, and so good for my taste buds), but I do have pictures of the two gifts my family gave me!  They're footing the bill for next weekend's birthday celebrations, so I was quite surprised to have received these things in the first place!  Apologies for the small, crappy pictures; I was too lazy to use my real camera so I resorted to my crummy webcam.

excuse my chipped nailpolish! and the reflection of my computer screen

We all know I love penguins, so it was natural for my mom to choose this for me.  My walls in my bedroom are disgracefully bare, so I'm excited to hang it.  And, it is pretty freakin' adorable!  Her co-worker makes these, so it's even more personal for us.  I took a picture of the detail (again, sorry for such shite quality!) so you can see that the penguins are actually scrolled paper.

And from my brother...as I told David, I have a soft spot for Wall-E.  I love him, I love the film, I pretty much love it all.  And most especially, I love the Microbe Obliterator, aka MO!  I mean, he's small, he's cute, he's the cleaner of the ship and maintains the proper order--what wouldn't I love about him?!  One of my favorite parts is when Wall-E puts his foot/tire tread onto MO's face and he has a freak out..ugh.  So cute!  Which made this little gift perfect.

I want to take him out of the package, but I don't want to ruin him!

My family knows me so well.

Before I close out this post, two things to take care of:
1) Thanks to [another] David for the One Lovely Blog award!  I never thought the order of me following someone would pay off :)  And I am very glad, because you have quickly become a favorite!

2) ABC Family had a Harry Potter marathon this entire weekend.  I'm not sure if this ruined or made my days.  But they did show sneak clips of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Part 1), which I am going to consider a personal birthday gift from ABC Family, Disney Co., and all companies therewithin.  Thanks!

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