Fill-in-the-Blank Friday!

I've missed doing these blanks, so I'm glad to be back with it!  I hope everyone has some fun weekend plans, I've got a friend's birthday celebration and an almost-goodbye dinner for a best friend departing to Russia in a few weeks.  Aside from that, hopefully I'll have time to really figure out my computer and get a new resume file going since the last was lost in my old computer (RIP Dell).

Link here!

(and holy cow that drink looks DE-LISH)

1.   My go to outfit for a dress-up occasion like a wedding is a simple, just-below-the-knee dress with cute heels and a cardigan.  At least, that's what I wore to my friend's wedding a few weeks ago.

2.  This week has been EXPENSIVE.  I had to buy a new computer (my first Mac!), pay for my 100k tune-up with my car, and the subsequent repairs. Also my costume/materials for a friend's birthday celebration.

3.  When it's dinnertime and I'm feeling lazy I'll usually eat scrambled eggs and toast; or a quickly made sandwich.

4.  My favorite pair of shoes is my grey Ugg cardy boots.  Hate all you want on UGGs, they're comfortable, warm and cute.

5.  A random item that I own that is completely unnecessary, but that I could never part with is a Ziggy comic that's about reading.  It's sweet and completely my outlook on life.  One day I'll scan it and post on the blog.

6.  My favorite person is  Julie Andrews.  This is discounting people I know in real life, right?  Ken Jennings and Daria are close seconds (and thirds?)

7.  If I were going to write my own blank it would say …ummm…let's go with: In the summer, I miss ___________ the most about winter.

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Where I'm At Now

Why yes, my Firefox is a Big Bang Theory theme, thanks for noticing!

• Pretty fucking irritated with my car/Toyota dealership. I'm at my 90k tune-up, and I get that it's major.  But fucking SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS MAJOR?! I'm going to cry. Last time I was there for my 85k, they said it would probably be around $300, maybe $350.  And that's what I've budgeted for the last six months.  And suddenly, oh, synthetic oil prices went up, and your cabin filter does need changing, and labor fees went up, and JUST ROB ME BLIND WHY DON'T YOU.  Fuck.
• That said, I am now down 80% of my budgeted Christmas fund.  Um, sorry acquaintances and office friends: you get a hug now.  Maybe even a kiss on the cheek if I think you're really special.
• Photo above is literally where I am at right now.  Starbucks in San Marcos.
• I am also incredibly sick at the moment.  Maybe not incredibly, but sick enough where I'm breathing loudly through my mouth, my nose is a veritable waterfall that's too stuffed to sniff, and my head feels like an overinflated balloon. I knew this was coming since three co-workers and two friends were sick, and I'm already not sleeping enough...but it still sucks.
• Peppermint mochas and Ritz crackers are not very yummy together.
• Despite the negativity on this blog and in my life right now, I am excited for the holidays in relation to my office!  Not for the Christmas party, since I'm no adrenaline junkie (see this tweet for reference)--but because my boss gave me free reign to decorate the office!  And I'm so fucking exciting to decorate a space all on my own I'm even willing to ignore the slight offense that he's letting me because I'm female.
• Feeling weird since I ran into my old co-editors big sister and she updated me on her life.  I'm happy for her, I really am: but it's strange to hear that my 3-years-younger old friend is now engaged and getting married in the Summer.  As if I don't already feel like 23-going-on-90.  Except I'm a lonely 90 year old, without even cats, who's never known love...
• I have a free Disneyland ticket, and I forgot about it, and now it expires next Wednesday, and I have no time to go!  ARGHHHH.
• Can't Stop. Listening. To...CHRISTMAS CAROLS.  (Currently: Glee Cast - We Need A Little Christmas.  Up next: When Christmas Comes To Town - Polar Express OST)
• Wondering what the heck I'm going to get my brother for Christmas.  What do you get a 26-year-old who lives at home, hates any and all technology, and does not need anything else for his guitars?  He is not into cars, tools, football, going to the gym, or anything movie- or hollywood-related.
• And am now signing off to go have lunch with my mom.  Despite the fact I'm not at work and am therefore not making money, I'm happy since I rarely get to see my mom during the week (you'd think I would since I live with my family...).

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A quick announcement before ToT!

First, I waited until it was actually posted, but go check out the Schwab MoneyWise Money Mondays page! For those that did the 20sb blog-swap, you'll recognize them as the sponsor--now they run a contest where every other Monday they post up a finance-related prompt and you tell them an anecdote or experience.  WELL...if you check out the recent winners, you may just find a familiar name :)  Even though sometimes it sucks to think back about financial crises, it's an easy way to win $100...so that was nice!

Link up here!

 1. What’s the one thing you always do when you’re stressed?
I stare. It sounds weird, but when I'm incredibly stressed out, I simply freeze what I'm doing and stare at something. I'm not actually seeing anything; it's just moments where I space out. Not entirely productive, but...it happens.

2. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever done for a friend?
You ever waxed a girl's back while she was drunk and trying to dress for a toga frat party? Yeah. College was a weird time.

3. What cleaning supply could you not live without?
A simple dust cloth does crazy wonders. But I gotta say, I'd take a vacuum because then I can suck up spiders/bugs. Icky.

4. How long do you plan on living where you currently reside?
Not too long, if I can help it. It's my parents' house, so I'll move out eventually.

5. Do you usually vote straight party, a mixture, or not at all?
Not at all?  That's a lie, but it's mostly just to avoid answering.

6. What’s something that you love to do, but seem to never make time for?
Bowling, art and design.

7. What’s your favorite store to buy things for other people?
It always depends on the person, but I'm fairly good at finding neat gifts from Target. Generic, I know, but I make it work.

8. What’s the weather like around you today?
Since I'm doing this the night before, I'll have to go with today's (now yesterday's when you read this) weather. It was coooold. And by "coooold," I mean it was mid-60s. But it was foggy and gloomy, too, so it seemed even colder.  I'm not complaining, I actually loved the weather.  That was where I work though; by my house it was high-70s and hot and blech.

9. What’s the worst book you’ve ever bought and read?
Hmmm...bought and read? I generally don't buy books until after I've read them (thank you, libraries), so I don't think I have any that qualify for this. Unless you can count textbooks where I was required to purchase before reading--in that case, I couldn't stand Heart of Darkness.  I know, I know, classic/great read/life changing/etc etc. I hated it.

10. What’s the closest thing to you that is yellow?
My necklace is gold, does that count?  If not...there's a mask I made in ceramics that's on top of the TV stand that I painted half yellow. Man...there is a surprising lack of yellow in my living room.

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Having Friends Without Having Money: A Lesson In Spending

• Tuesday: dinner with friends ($0, ate beforehand), La Jolla Shores (free, public beach), 2am fast food stop ($0, ate snack @ home)
• Wednesday: Starbucks with friend ($0, skipped coffee), dinner with friend (In N Out, $5.17), out with friends after ($0, board game night @ house)
• Thursday: Tennis with friend ($0, free courts), ice cream after ($0, skipped)
• Friday: Ocean Beach.  Ice cream ($0, skipped), dinner (Hodad’s, $6), cliffs (free, public entrance)
• Saturday: shopping ($0, “window” shopping), library (25 cents, pay off fine ).  Asked to go to dinner & downtown to club, skipped ($0)
• Sunday:  asked to go to Disneyland with friends, skipped.  Asked to dinner with friends, skipped.
• Monday: library ($0, no fine this time!), gas ($6, all I could afford to put into tank), Panera (soda, free since brother works there)

In a week, I spent $17.42.  Which leaves my bank account at exactly $12.58.

If I had actually purchased at every stop, I would have spent around $120 (not including Disneyland, since that just makes all expenses soar).  It seems a little ridiculous to track expenses like this, but when you’re me—unemployed, running out of back up funds, and savings account is strictly for student loans—it’s necessary.

I wasn’t always unemployed.  I was a lucky graduate, because two weeks after I received my BA in Literary Journalism, I began a full-time job as an Account & Content Manager at a web design and marketing business specializing in working with health care professionals (read: made websites for dentists and plastic surgeons).  The job was literally given to me when a friend had to quit and offered it to me.  It wasn’t quite what I wanted to do, but it was interesting, and honestly, give me $12/hr, and I’ll like a lot of things.

36 days after I began working there, the company downsized.  Last hired, first “fired” (really it was “let go”, but that doesn’t rhyme), and suddenly I was thrust into the good ol’ world of unemployment.  I had to move back in with my parents.

As it was, I was making the least of all my friends anyway.  Most make around $15/hr, a few pull in what comes to $20/hr, and one friend takes the big ol’ fancy schmancy cake by having a starting salary of $70,000/yr (perhaps I should have conceded when my parents asked me to go into engineering.  *Sigh*). Even when I had the income, I was struggling to keep up with my friends.  I still had to skip the coffee sometimes, and almost definitely couldn’t afford to go on the shopping sprees at Bloomingdale’s; but I didn’t constantly have to count the change in my purse and mentally scan my bank account any time a friend asked to go somewhere.

It sucks. I’m not going to lie.  I hate having to turn down so many things, I hate having to plan pre-eating before going out, I hate having to be the one that sits awkwardly at a table while everyone else chows down.  I hate the looks of pity I get, I hate the offers from friends to pick up my tab (though I appreciate it).  It’s frustrating and annoying and even though financial trouble plagues everyone, it’s embarrassing to be the girl who is always dragging everyone else down.

But it’s simply something I have to do if I want to see friends at all.  There was a small period of time right after I was let go from work where I became extremely paranoid about my finances and turned down all offers to go out for fear of spending anything.  I knew my money was going to disappear and I was terrified how fast it may go.  And that put a huge strain on my relationships.  Friends started expecting me to say no, so they simply stopped asking.  The guy I was trying to see ended up saying, “I can never see you. I want you to go, but I know you’re not going to.”  And that’s when it hit me that I was doing something wrong.

Having a small budget means knowing how to prioritize.  Is it really important for me to grab that coffee with my friend?  Do I have to go see that movie?  You learn to cut corners (legally, of course) and find the better deals.  The realization that I don’t have to buy something every time I meet up for a bite to eat was almost as life changing as when I realized what major I wanted to declare.  The internet has become my best friend in trying to find cheap, if not completely free, events.  I mean, I’m not sure I’d have ever known how many parks are around me had I not lost my job!  And the museums offer free entry every few weeks?!  Odd as it may be, being unemployed has led me to some pretty amazing finds around my city.  While I’m not happy about it, there is a brighter side to this dumpy situation.

With this prioritization comes the realization of things I do need to spend on.  Some things are obvious, like when a best friend’s mother passed away; no expense was spared on cards, food, flowers.  Or when the man another best friend was dating had to move back to his home country, I deemed it necessary to splurge on some ice cream, bad chick flicks and the usual girls’ night fodder.  Other things are evaluated and declared worthy or not worthy: ice cream after dinner? As yummy as that would be, pass.  Grab a burrito for lunch?  Not necessary, there are leftovers in the fridge.  Birthday drinks with a close friend?  Special occasion, so I’m for it.  Grad gift for a friend?  Definitely in, how many times will someone receive a Bachelors?!

I still know that my student loan payments and health insurance take a much higher priority than grabbing drinks with friends.  And even though it’s bad that I am 23 and don’t have my own credit card yet, I’m glad the option of charging isn’t there for me.  In an odd way, unemployment really made me face the realities of money, which is why I suspect I can score a 68 on the Charles Schwab Financial Fitness Quiz.  Apparently, I’m middle of the road for my age group.  Not great, but not bad, either.  And I’m ok with that.  I’ve finally figured out how to control my own money and not let others influence my choices.  Friends still try, and I admit to bending to temptation sometimes—but not always, and that counts for something, too.

*Disclaimer: This post is part of the 20SB Blog Carnival: Friends & Money, sponsored by Charles Schwab. Prizes may be awarded to selected posts. The information and opinions expressed in this post do not reflect the views or opinions of Charles Schwab. Details on the event, eligibility, and a complete list of participating bloggers can be found here.

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