Music + Sleepytime

Do you listen to music when you fall asleep? Or do you have to have it completely silent, door closed, zero light?

I can do either, but it's preferable for me to have music or some sort of noise.  I had to get used to silence when I had a roommate who was a light sleeper (that was a very rough two years...), but if I can have the radio on, or TV playing, I will.  And because I'm a creature of habit, I have a goodnight playlist that I would insist on falling asleep to, convinced that it worked faster.

Well, unfortunately I lost the playlist when I wiped my iPod clean on an update as well as had my old laptop die all within a week of each other - and Ashley was a sad, very tired girl. (What? Talking in third person isn't cool? Oh.)

So imagine how happy I was to open an old notebook today and see I'd had the brilliant foresight to write it down!!  

In a veiled way of keeping a record of my playlist in case I ever lose it again, I thought I'd share :)  I was going to post all the videos for them, but that's a pretty vid-heavy post -- so only select ones get a YouTube accompaniment.

If you have any suggestions (or even a playlist) of music that could fit in my Dreaming List, please share! I'm always open to new music.

God Must Have Spent - *NSYNC

(most favourite *NSYNC song ever.)

My Heart Was Home Again - Josh Groban

(the music is beautiful.)

Believe - Josh Groban

You're Still You - Josh Groban

Something Good - Sound of Music OST

(I used to try to listen to the whole soundtrack to go to bed, but then I'd just start singing the entire movie.)

Kiss the Rain - Yiruma

(possibly THE most beautiful music I've ever heard.

Seriously, please listen if you haven't already.)

Doin' Just Fine - Boyz II Men

4 Seasons of Loneliness - Boyz II Men

Turn Me On - Norah Jones (<3)

Crazy Love - Michael Bublé

Home - Michael Bublé

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Music Monday

because this was pretty much my heart's song in 2001. I had a simple 14-year-old heart.

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Throwback Thursday

Going to be a long day, but I woke up with this in my head. I don't know why, but I know I like it!

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The Last Post of 2011

I'm not going to do a 2011 wrap-up (yet...if I can get my shit together maybe I will...), but instead doing a toast to 2011 - a rough year, but one filled with laughter, friendship, a bit of sadness, and unfortunate amount of disappointment, but - most importantly - a hell of a lot of love.

A tribute to the lasts of 2011!

Last meal eaten: paneer tikka masala with garlic naan (it was an Indian night, apparently)

Last purchase: nail polish (how fitting)

Last book read: The Last Little Blue Envelope by Maureen Johnson

Last TV show watched: The Big Bang Theory

Last movie watched: Horrible Bosses (a Christmas gift!)

Last manicure: OPI - Lucerne-tanely Look Marvelous! with China Glaze - Cleopatra over (picture later, as my phone is refusing to email it currently)

And my final playlist of the year!

Gotya feat. Kimbra - Somebody That I Used To Know

Katy Perry - The One That Got Away

Jessie J - Domino (OBSESSED with this song)

Cee-Lo Green - Bright Lights Bigger City

Rihanna feat. Calvin Harris - We Found Love

fun. feat. Janelle Monae - We Are Young

Happy New Year, everyone!

I hope 2012 is absolutely fabulous!

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Reminiscing the good ol' days of 2000s pop music and filling in some Friday blanks!

YOU GUYS.  You guys. You guys you guys you guys. Guess what I saw at the library and had to check out as soon as possible?

No? No guesses? LOOKIE HERE!

And because that's a crummy webcam picture and backwards, that DVD I'm holding is this:

Yeah, that's real. I totally forget it came out awhile back, and I mean...I didn't get to see these episodes with them in the Mickey Mouse Club days. I was pretty young, and the show didn't even air in the countries I was living in. I've seen clips of course, as any child of the Millennium Pop era has (*NSYNC FOREVER)...but I'm so excited to actually see the horrors of this for reals. Oh Justin Timberlake...no matter what I see, I hope you know that I will love you always. Unconditionally.

And I guess it'll be cool to see some pre-crazy Britney and pre-boobs Christina.  And a girl can always hope for a peep of Ryan Gosling!

Anyway, the weekend! Christmas Christmas Christmas. That's about all it will entail.  I've made a promise to myself that I will be sending all my Christmas cards out by Saturday. I was doing so well with them, and I've just...slacked like crazy.  (Which, if you would like a card, email me your address and you shall receive! prickslikethorn[at]gmail[dot]com - and of course your information won't ever be shared or used for another use other than a holiday card)  After all that, tons of gift wrapping. Luckily I'm done with all my actual shopping, so I don't have to worry about the crazy crowds.

Happy Friday all, have a wonderful weekend!  Onto the blanks...

Link up here!

1.   My most favorite "little thing" is    the little chocolate flake sprinkles they put on top of a peppermint mocha at Starbucks. It's so cute and small and you don't really see them since the drink is covered...but it's there, and little, and I love it  .

2.   I'd give anything to  be in Paris right now    .

3.  I can't believe   that there's only 9 days left until Christmas, and 15 days to the new year.  WHERE DID THE TIME GO?!   .

4. The one thing I'd like to achieve today is   finishing at least 10 of my ~25 Christmas cards   .

5.  The last thing I want to do today is   clean. Urgh .

6.  If I were writing my own blank today, it would say:  'a movie i want to see in theaters right now is______' because I still want to see Arthur Christmas haha. .

7.  My favorite candle scent is   actually, I'm not sure. I usually like Christmas-y smells and all, but we don't burn candles in my house so I can't...answer .

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Wherein I quote a Demi Lovato song and relate it to my life.

Pon & Zi

I haven't made it a secret that I am a closet Demi Lovato fan.  I don't scream it from the top of the mountain, but...I mean...it's there.  I own her albums. I sing her songs in my car like you. would. not. BELIEVE.  I get she is (was?) Disney, she's had her shit going on and hitting the metaphorical fan and all that, I've even admitted that she's pitchy and not-so-great live (because yes, I have seen her in concert).  And yes, I do have her new album UnBroken, that was just released Tuesday.  I may have even downloaded the leak a week ago, eagerly.

Moving along.

She has this new song on her album called Lightweight.  And I mean...it's just one of those cosmic things where you're sitting by your lonesome, contemplating how emotionally drained you feel and the shitty situations you find yourself in, and basically being a big fat downer - when suddenly you hear a song, and it just fits.  It's like it's reading your heart, pulling your feelings into words.

And I'm only slightly ashamed to admit it's a cheesy pop song in my heart.

     I'm a lightweight better be careful what you say
       With every word I'm blown away
       You're in control of my heart
       I'm a lightweight easy to fall easy to break
       With every move my whole world shakes


I am a romantic. For some reason I don't really like admitting it, but it's true: give me a dozen roses, write me a poem, stand outside my window with a boom box over your head and I am yours, forever.  Kiss me on the forehead, even just tap the inside of my wrist and my heart will probably flip three times over.

The problem is that I am a romantic about everything, to anyone.  It could be a friend, it could be an innocent move, and it will make me fall just a little in love with you.  In college, a friend waited outside a classroom for me to finish my chat with our professor so we could walk to our next building together - and I fell a little in love.  A different friend held back the group we were going to dinner with at the Commons by 15 minutes to accommodate my 6:30pm registration time, without me even asking -- and I fell in love.  Another friend told me he likes the books I recommend - and it's love all over again.

So imagine how deep it goes when it's someone I am interested in who does something like that for me.  It's just game over at that point - I am yours, forever, for always, with everything I have.  I'm a big flirt, but underneath it all, my heart is just hoping to pieces that something he's said is real.  That we'll lock eyes and one of those moments will happen where we just know our lives are meant to be intertwined somehow.

And I fear that this happened with someone, but it was all just...me falling too hard, too fast, too easily.  It's that situation where I know he was meant to be Someone in my life.  It was too immediate when we met for me to ignore it.  But then...it all just went to shit.  We immediately got along.  We started flirting.  We joked and laughed and shared interests and argued intelligently and it was like I found a piece of a puzzle I didn't even know I was a part of.

But for some reason, it's not fitting right now.  I don't know if it ever will, but all I know is I keep trying to put it together, and it's just bending and breaking me.  Every now and again he'll give a little hope that he is a match, that we'll fit just-so...but it still doesn't quite look right.  And eventually, we'll try so hard and fail so much it will all fracture and fade away.

I'm a lightweight, easy to fall and easy to break...

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This post contains drag queens. And pictures.

You know that point in blogging where you've been gone so long, you don't really know how to come back?  It's like...do I acknowledge the absence? Do I just post as though no time has passed? A little of half?

I'm totally there.

I'm getting worried about NaNoWriMo. Not even the fact that I will (hopefully) be working and have less time, I'm more worried about the creative aspect of it. Last year, I was all about this thing. I had so many story ideas that I was jumping at the chance to get down 50k words for any and all of them. That's why I managed to hit 52k in one story, and 35k in another at the same time.  The creativity and inspiration carried on for awhile, but...it slipped. And at this point, it's pretty much gone. I have a few story ideas floating, as always, but nothing that I'm totally interested in banging out 50k for.  And, it's 50,000 words - that's a commitment nothing has become worthy of.

I don't know what to do about that.

I went up to Irvine last week and got to see a few of my friends who I haven't seen in over a year. And it was absolutely amazing.  They're all Italian exchange students, and most had returned to Italy after their year studying at my university.  A few of them have come back to study for their PhDs, so I managed to go up and have lunch with a group of them.  It really made me miss those who haven't returned, but it was lovely seeing the others. It means a lot that they still care about me so much, even if I was only really friends with them for 4 or 5 months.  Italians make the world a better place, in my opinion.

That same trip really upset me, though. It's kind of odd how that worked out, but being back on campus was terrible. Not only did it feel awkward returning because I have such crappy memories of college, but it was crazy to see all the construction done. It's like a brand new campus, and I hate that I feel so out of place. I mean, obviously I still know the campus is set in a circle and Humanities is right across from Engineering and there used to be a tire swing in the center of the Park.  Those things don't quite go away.  But seeing the new Humanities building, and the entire new Second Year Housing buildings, and this massive parking structure at the ARC...it was just too weird.  The place I called home for 4 years isn't anything like it was, and that disturbs me slightly.

By the way, did you know that when you have over 1000 unread posts in Google Reader to get to, the number stops?  It just says (1000+).  Good to know.

I have to admit though, despite extreme exhaustion and general listlessness towards life, I've been craaaazy busy. Lots of celebrations and outings and general doings going on. Brother's girlfriend's birthday happened, so we did it up big (ie, bday party at her house that included an egg hunt. Yep.)...a friend graduated again so we partied downtown...went to a concert that was shameful mostly and surprisingly fun...hit up Hash House, the most awesome breakfast joint ever--where the flapjacks are literally bigger than a pizza--and got caught in rain...and got crunk with drag queens.

What? You want pictures? Why SURE!

Yep...the shameful concert was a Jonas Brothers show.  Two of my friends and I were able to get tickets for less than $20, so we were like...why not?  It's catchy and fun and I was am a die-hard *NSYNC fan for life, so this crowd ain't got nothin' on me. And I admit (as I have on this blog before) that one of my guilty pleasures is Demi Lovato music...

and she was the opening act. So, plus one more for me!  Have to say though, she's not that great live.  She's incredibly pitchy and doesn't know how to properly breathe while dancing and moving around.  So, a bit distracting, almost slightly disappointed, but...it is what it is.

Gotta admit, Jonas Brothers were...I mean, it all sounded right. Pretty much no surprises in their performance, except I didn't think Joe Jonas could get any womanlier...and then he took off that jacket from picture 1 and revealed that the black makes-me-look-like-i-have-cleavage shirt is actually an oddly fitted tank top and I was effectively proven wrong.  But so it goes, right?  So. It. Goes.

Just a few of the drag queens we got to party with!  The one we have a picture with was our table's hostess for the night and she was awesome.  The one in the coral/peach dress was our favourite for the night because she was so freakin' cute I pretty much just wanted to be her.  This was all at Lips, a dinner/drag show bar in San Diego that's apparently quite famous.  Food was good, entertainment was top notch...I'm pretty sure I'll be headed back there sometime.  When I'm made of money anyway, because shit's expensive, man.

Requisite bathroom photo?  It was mostly just to show how faaaancy the girl's bathroom was!

Lastly, the birthday cupcakes I made for brother's girlfriend!

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Getty Center, Mayer Hawthorne and somehow I talk about using the bathroom twice.

You know what's not fun?  Having to pee preeeetty badly when an earthquake hits.  Let's just say that was not a good situation yesterday, and leave it at that.

So, let's talk about my Saturday and how effing awesome it was!  There were a few not so effing awesome parts, but in general one of the best days I've had in a really long time.  It did not start out well when I only had 3 hours of sleep, and then stuffing 5 cranky people into a car at 8:30am led to some..um...raised voices, if you will.  But by the time we got to the Getty Center around noon (we had a few car mix-ups and delays), myself and 9 of my friends were in considerably better moods.  We set out to find what this famed West Coast museum could offer...and so begins a few pictures (if you would like to see more, find my flickr...OH WAIT JK I don't have one of those.  These will have to do) (and sorry for not posting some of the more interesting ones, I just have a policy against posting pictures of my friends so I could only choose ones where their faces aren't clear) (though they will all be up on my facebook):

view

The Getty has this thing about fountains. And they all make me need to use the bathroom.

having fun with all the rearview mirrors!

In the interactive "family" part

One of the sculptures outside, which leads to....

...this interactive replication of the sculpture! You can rearrange all the tubing.

entrance

part of the gardens

And then the piece de resistance (I can't put in accents right now, so just imagine that phrase as it should be, please): Mayer Hawthorne.  It was pretty tight getting to see him perform at the Getty.  The show was outside in one of the courtyard areas during sunset, so it was a pretty unique experience.  Now, I love Mayer Hawthorne's music.  The first time I heard it, I started to groove within the first three bars.  It's just some sexy stuff, man.  I was hoping to post music of his without showing you who he was because when you hear it, you simply do not picture some scrawny white dude.  Trust when I say if you dig R&B, soul,  hip-hop beats and some deep, old school MoTown...you will love him.

It didn't seem like we were this far away. Also, this pic was achieved by me holding my camera as high as I could above my head.  Ahh, being 5'3" at shows...good times.  Good. Times.

And some video links if you want to hear a few of the performances.  Not the videos I took since I don't use my YouTube account for uploads, but these do the trick.

Maybe So, Maybe No/Gangsta Luv

Just Ain't Gonna Work Out --skip the first half, unless you want to hear him talk about music stuff. And sing Biz Markie's "Just A Friend."

Shiny and New/I Wish It Would Rain

The night was rounded out with this pretty freakin' good sausage place in downtown LA arts district called Wurstküche.  I'd never heard of it, but my brother and his gf had gone before and he was craving it again. I'm not the most adventurous eater in the world, but he promised it would bring me back to our Belgium days, so I trusted him.

[via]

And while the bratwurst wasn't quite what I used to eat en Belgique and the fries were most definitely not the kind of my childhood, I was still pretty darn satisfied.  I learned long ago to not hold my upbringing against food I eat in America (else I'd never be satisfied with anything), and so I won't.  But the sausage itself was tasty, the bread roll it came in was all sorts of amazing, and I even found I really liked the onions and sweet peppers I opted for as a topping.  For a more detailed review and breakdown of the restaurant, visit Awkward Eats, the food blog my friend Vivian writes!

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Weekend goodness

If all goes to plan, my Saturday will be spent here:

Watching him:

Perform this:

And I am going to love every fucking second.

I hope everyone else has wonderful weekends!  See you on Monday :)

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It's been a disappointing day.

Not for really anything important, just little things.  Which don't really impact life too much, but it's still a bit sad.

First, how long is this week going to be?!  It feels as though I've lived a month in the last two days.  I'm sure it's because I'm anticipating the weekend and the plans I have, but ugh.  It's so very hard to wait it all out.

Second, doesn't it suck when you find out a band you really really really love is playing in your city and you get incredibly excited and you're like fuck yes I'm going to buy tickets right fucking now, and then you find out they're opening for a band you really don't like, a band that attracts a lot of people you don't like and is actually pretty big time so it drives up the ticket prices to juuuuuust above what you think it's worth if you're only there for the opening act. Yeah, it kind of sucks a lot.

Third, my favourite drink at Coffee Bean is the second most unhealthy in its category.  I obviously know an ice blended drink isn't healthy, and it's not like I'm drinking it trying to be healthy.  But it still kind of blows to know your favourite is kinda bad, so you'll have to revert back to Mochas even though they are not as tasty as Hazelnut.

Fourth, my favourite dress that I've worn to pretty much everything because it's cute and comfortable decided it didn't want to stay its actual size as it went through the dryer (and yes, it does say Tumble Dry Low, so it's not like I accidentally ran it through!).  It's not small like a doll's dress, but it's just slightly smaller than what it was so it's slightly not as flattering and now does not like to hold my chesticles in as much as it did.  Luckily, the dress is still at Target (and on sale for $12 now!), so I am hoping to be able to go purchase another--and will not make the mistake of drying it.

Not the best example, but only pic I could find of the dress.

So you see, small disappointments that don't really matter, but still make me go "boo."

As a quick aside, I advise everyone to be cautious while working on their laptops in public places.  Because maybe you'll open up your Google Reader to start crackin' on reading blog posts, and click on one of the blogs you follow and something like this may appear, and you may scar the little children sitting at the table directly behind you--though if they're snooping on my screen, I can't say they didn't deserve it! (NSFW, guys, if that wasn't going to be obvious):

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Let's consider this a mini-post

I thought about posting other things for today, but have since decided my writing is not up to par currently--so all I say is that I hope you all had amazing weekends and wonderful days celebrating Mothers! Mine was lovely.

On a completely unrelated note: every night I listen to music as I go to bed, randomized by my iPod.  John Mayer's "I Don't Trust Myself (With Loving You)" came on last night and it was just...you know when a song speaks to you?  Cheesy as that may be, I couldn't help but feel like this song is so right for a part of my life.  Take that as you will, and go ahead and ridicule my love for John Mayer music all you like--I know that this is the right song for what happened.

No I'm not the man I used to be lately
See you met me at an interesting time
If my past is any sign of your future
You should be warned before I let you inside

Hold on to whatever you find baby
Hold on to whatever will get you through
Hold on to whatever you find baby
I don't trust myself with loving you

I will beg my way into your garden
I will break my way out when it rains
Just to get back to the place where I started
So I can want you back all over again

Hold on to whatever you find baby
Hold on to whatever will get you through
Hold on to whatever you find baby
I don't trust myself with loving you

Who do you love?
Girl I see through, through your love
Who do you love?
Me or the thought of me?
Me or the thought of me?

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A playlist for the dentist chair

If you read my blog and/or follow me on twitter, then you know I've been having a good ol' time at my dentist.  Whenever its a procedure longer than just a check-up and cleaning, they allow their patients to listen to music.  They have a CD player to offer, but limited CDs (Billy Joel and Faith Hill are popular requests, according to their file) so I always try to remember my iPod.  I forgot it last week for my appointment, but made sure to be prepared this week.

So I made a playlist last night.  It's not so much a thought out playlist, more of a...."I think this will distract me enough, let's try it" list.  Two problems though; first, I only have music I've added into my computer from 2 months ago uploaded, and second, I have an iPod Touch.  And while I love my iPod 99.67% of the time, there are only two ways to change songs while listening to music: 1) pull up the controls on the screen and touch it, which requires you being able to see the screen, and 2) shake the entire iPod and it will shuffle songs.  Neither of which I can do while sitting in the dentist's chair.  I was at the mercy of whatever song that came up, for the entire duration.  Because of this, I have discovered a few songs that are good to listen to while in the chair, and some that just don't work.

The Good:

Pride and Prejudice (2005) OST -- Lilting, soft, but interesting enough to hold your attention.  No lyrics, which means you don't have to worry about inadvertently moving your lips as you try to sing along.

John Mayer - Assassin, Perfectly Lonely -- Something about the music.  Calming.  And it's just me, but I don't know the lyrics yet, so again, no singing along to worry about!

Adele - Chasing Pavements, Hometown Glory -- Lulling.  Takes me away from where I am.

The Satisfactory:

Music from the TV show Glee -- definitely distracting, but definitely want to join in.

Mayer Hawthorne -- Amazing music, one that will take you away from the horrific sounds of a drill.  But...man, your groove just wants to be got!

Hope for Haiti Now (Music from the Telethon) -- most of the music is amazing to listen to, and your mind is somewhere else.  But then you start to think of the tragedy of Haiti, and the plight of Chile and all the destruction...well.  It can lead to some bad places.

The Bad:

Lady GaGa - Bad Romance -- there's always something to do with this song; sing along, mock it, bob your head, ridicule her.  All of which involve movement.

Spring Awakening OBC, Wicked OBC, Next to Normal OBC -- They're musicals.  Of course you want to join in, jazz hands and square steps and all.

Justin Timberlake -- You're tellin' me you can bring sexy back without any sort of shifting?!

Lean On Me -- This is one of my top 3 favourite songs ever, and it's one of those songs I feel the need to close my eyes, sway, and softly sing along to.

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Best of '09 Blog Challenge: Album of the Year

Best of 2009 Blog Challenge, Day 10: Album of the Year

This was unfortunately the year of my computer going kablooey, so much of my iTunes counts and album loads were lost. I can't verify when I got these albums so I'm guessing if they are from this year. And because I suck at keeping to prompts, I have to cheat and choose 3. In no particular order...

Glee Soundtrack/Music from the TV series
Words cannot express how much I love this damn show. Yeah, the acting can get pretty cringe-worthy, the lip-syncing is like Britney Spears circa 2001, Terri Schuester makes me want to rip my eyeballs out and chuck them at her, and it has storylines even soap operas would turn down. But the musical talent on this show is mindblowing. If you don't believe me, YouTube the versions of Somebody to Love, And I Am Telling You, or Proud Mary. I even loved the Lean On Me version, and I consider anything not the original to forever be a degrading bastardization.

Laura Izibor - Let the Truth Be Told
Who knew crummy-yet-entertaining movies like Step Up 2 the Streets would lead me to an amazing artist? Laura Izibor is all the things you love and not the things you despise about Alicia Keys, Beyonce, Estelle, Leona Lewis, etc. She is soulful. she is talent. she is heartwrenching and heartwarming and heartstring-tugging. she is brilliant.

Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog
I was trying to find another blog challenge that it would fit into so I could dedicate a whole post to it, but I can't really find one. So, suffice to say, this is the best, most awesome and amazing and brilliant piece of music/show/showtunes/webisode/media EVER. Swiping from the amazing Neil Patrick Harris's other brilliant show (How I Met Your Mother shout out!), this really is fucking LEGEN--wait for it--DARY.

Honourable Mention:
John Mayer - Battle Studies
Musically, I love this album as much as I love Continuum (one of my favourite albums of all time). But the lyrics fall short to me. That being said, I haven't really stopped playing it yet since I got it, so...there is that.

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It's official

I have broken out the Christmas music.

I know, I know. It's not even Thanksgiving yet, it's still November, we've got 8 days. I am completely one of those annoying people who is blasting Christmas carols way too early and effectively ruins the holiday by starting too early and putting on the pressure and taking the fun out of it.

First, at least I waited until now. Most stores had their Christmas shit out before Halloween, and even I think that was WAY too early.

Second, this is definitely later than I have previous years. I chalk it up to bad experiences these last few holidays.

But also...I couldn't help it. My brother has Black Friday off for the first time since we've been old enough to go out and brave the insanity together, so we've been talking about which stores to go to and searching for the best places to go. Which, inevitably, leads to discussing Christmas presents since our goal of Black Friday is to purchase several, if not most, of the presents for our friends/family. I am cleaning/clearing/organizing my room and the rest of the house, and it happens that we are also rearranging for the holidays (setting up the tree, hanging lights/garland, decorations, etc.). My mom and I are starting to plan out the holiday meals and food for the various family get-togethers, parties, and friend gift-exchanges we have in December. And my bank account is definitely crying at the prospect of having to purchase so many things. Everything is kind of setting up and gearing up for the inevitable holiday hell.

Mostly, though...I've been really sad lately. As evident by the last entry, and more things going on. It's just kind of a weird time, and the only thing that usually cheers me up is Christmas music. Ever since I was little, I've been in love with the holidays. Of course it was because I got things and was allowed to be greedy, but it was because I loved the holidays around wherever I was at the time. In every country and city I lived in, Christmas was pretty much the "same": decorations, gifts, spirit, cold weather (of varying degrees), parties, family, stress. I love being cold, bundling up, drinking hot chocolates (or peppermint mochas, as Starbucks has continued its world domination). It was also the one time I was guaranteed to have my dad be home from work. Christmas music embodies all that I love about it, and has some awesome memories attached to it all. It just cheers me up like nothing else can.

So, yeah, I know, I'm early. I'm probably annoying to everyone else. Everyone around me will tire of Christmas much earlier than Christmas actually approaches.

And I will continue to play it.

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