Blah.

I've been in an incredibly dumpy and dreary mood today. I don't know if it's because of the crummy weather, or if I'm feeling rather pitiful that exactly a year ago I was starting a full-time job as an Account Manager and here I am an unemployed semi-worthless lump, or if it's because my weekend left a lot of things to be desired...whatever the reason, seven failed attempts at a real post have made me give up.

Instead, I leave you with a few of my favourite images.  Most of them are from weheartit, so I don't know any photo credits (please let me know if you know who to credit, and I shall edit ASAP).  But I'm hoping this will leave me a little inspired for the coming days.

Ben Heine

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Happy 4th of July (for the Americans) and a happy weekend!

Happy weekend, lovies!  For the Americans, I hope you all have wonderful 4th of July celebrations!  Anyone have anything special planned?  My plans happen to be a part of this week's Fill-in-the-Blank Friday, so read on to hear what I'm doing!

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1. This weekend for the 4th of July I'll be going to a mini-family reunion BBQ (described as "small"...which, you know, means like 70 people or something).  And then possibly the San Diego County Fair?  Or maybe going to Big Bear to my friend's family house.  I'm not sure.

2. Fireworks are impossibly loud. And nice, usually.  Especially if they make shapes, like the smiley face or heart ones.  And the one that makes Mickey Mouse at Disneyland.

3. Nothing says summer like the sound of velcro as surfers put on/take off their ankle straps and the clink of bottles as people rush to hide their beer as the Lifeguards & Beach Security make their rounds.

4. My favorite summer memory is sitting at the lake in the south of France.

5. My favorite thing about summer is Mexican food (carne asada burrito!) after a hot beach day.  And BBQs.

6. Summer in a word is ice cream.

7. If I could choose to have summer or winter year round I'd pick winter.  Sorry summer, sorry San Diego, sorry all my friends.  I love the beach and picnics in the park and BBQs on the lawn and all that fun stuff, but the winter is cozy, and layers, and boots, and cookies baking and lights twinkling.

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I would have tried to make it work.

I would have made the effort and worked for it.

I would have loved you from afar and hoped in the distance.

I would have picked up your phone calls and answered your texts and responded to your IMs.

I would have driven to have dinner when we both had the time and brought money for my share even though I knew you'd insist you would pick up the tab.  I'd have left the tip.

I would have shaken hands with all your friends and made small talk and learned all about the people you find worthwhile.

I would have listened to you talk about your long days at work and given you back rubs when the tension was too much and bought you a celebratory drink when you got the promotion.

I would have supported your dreams, the ones that want to change the world and alter our lives.  I would have believed in you.

I would have hugged you when you needed it, and even when you didn't.

I would have kissed you when I saw you because I was happy to see you, to finally get to be with you.

I would have made you laugh, especially on the days you never thought you would.

I would have only complained a little bit when you forgot important dates, like my parent's anniversary or my brother's birthday or that day that terrifies me.

I would have kept you company during those long trips and endless nights of work.

I would have driven you home after one too many drinks with your buddies.  I'd even try to parallel park your car.

I would have let you read my writing and get inside my head, like you once told me you wanted to.

I would have gone to your silly basketball games, even though you know I hate that sport. And even though you would insist it was ok, I didn't have to, I would have gone anyway.

I would have tried to understand that bit about your heritage that you described as "complicated."

I would have introduced you to all my friends.  Proudly, holding your hand, secretly gloating because I was with you and they weren't.

I would have shown you my favourite spot in my city, and gone with you to yours.

I would have let you choose what music to listen to in the car.  Most of the time, anyway, until that weird jazz station you like started lulling me to sleep.

I would have.

If you had let me.

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