Tales from the Toyota Dealership

My car is in dire need of a tune-up, so I have found myself at the local dealership this early morning.  I say "early," but my appointment was at 9:30am, which really isn't that early in the grand scheme of the working world.  It is, however, early to me--most especially when I was awake until close to 4am having Dr. Mario/Tetris tournaments on the Super Nintendo against my brother (that's real, kids).

Sitting in the waiting lounge of a Toyota dealership is really strange; it's like the amalgamation of middle America.  There are so many people of varying life, it's endlessly entertaining.  And for that, I am garnering several stares since I keep looking around and watching everyone.

For instance, I am one of two people who have brought a book to read (I have 3 and a magazine, if we want to be honest about it, but that's a whole other issue).  All the others are staring around and just watching everyone else, only to surreptitiously glance away when eyes accidentally trip over one another.  Why didn't anyone else realize that they would have an hour and a half of free time?  Why didn't they take the complimentary shuttle service to somewhere else where they would be entertained?  And most importantly, why don't you grab one of the 18 available magazines provided on the tables for us?

Then, there's one guy pacing around the room.  He's just...walking.  Around and around and around.  On occasion, he slips outside and walks around the front dealership lot, but then he makes his way back to the service area and keeps on walking, cup of hazelnut coffee steaming away in his hands.  Most importantly, though, is that he is a dead doppelganger for Will Ferrell, and that is highly distracting.  In an awkwardly funny way, since I just want him to burst out in a cheerleader uniform with a small Cheri Oteri next to him.

Then there is a cheery older woman here, smiling at everyone with the cutest high ponytail.  She's very chirpy, and I find that I really like it.  Most noticeable is the man sitting ramrod straight in a chair, in a complete pin-striped 3-piece suit.  It is pressed and crisp and he has a sleek briefcase sitting delicately in his lap.  He is clean-shaven, and even though I'm too far away to tell, I am betting you he is wearing the nicest cologne.  There is also the inevitable woman on her cell phone, speaking as though she is the only other person in the room.  In case you're wondering, her granddaughter did really well on her science test--maybe one day she'll even be a doctor!  Wouldn't that be wonderful?  Of course, she did excellent her spelling test, too, so she may have a future in teaching or English.  She's just so smart.

I was quite caught up in one couple that was sitting on the couch across from me.  Actually, the husband was sitting on the couch; the wife was sitting in one of the armchairs against the wall to my right (his left).  I thought it was odd they weren't sitting next to each other, and the woman was visibly angry.  Complete with the furrowed brow, the deep frown, the angry eyes.  Her husband had an entire folder filled with Toyota price sheets that you get every time you come in for a tune-up, so I had to wonder if she was irritated with the price.  He was definitely comparing all of the sheets, going through and cross referencing.  He said something to her, in which she simply grunted in reply (let me tell you, there is something incredibly strange about watching a woman grunt at a man.) and didn't say anything back.  It got to the point where she was so curt with him that I was convinced they were having marital problems.  Someone that hostile with the person she supposedly loves most in the world has to be having some pretty severe problems.

And then another man in a suit walked by me--this one, however, had his coat unbuttoned, there were wrinkles on the back like it had spent the night tossed over a chair, and, to be honest, the suit was about two sizes too big.  The man was scruffy, and his computer bag was beat up and well-loved and definitely something I had seen at a Staples 7 years ago.  I saw Crisp Suit Man (CSM) flag Wrinkled Suit Man (WSM) over, in which they introduced themselves.  Suddenly, a woman in all black with a Toyota pin comes striding up to Husband and Disgruntled Wife and says, "We are ready, shall we go upstairs to the offices?"  They stood up and shook hands with CWM and WSM--who are, as I've overhead, from a law office.  Suddenly all those back files of Toyota papers and money comments have turned into something extremely different...

No wonder the wife is disgruntled.  That's a lawsuit right there.

Yep, I have definitely just written 8 paragraphs about people in a Toyota dealership.  If you read all that, hooray!  If not, I do not blame you.  And theoretically you wouldn't be reading this, so...blahbitybooonyou!

I think I'm done commenting.  I'm going to get back to reading What the Dog Saw (who else loves them some Malcolm Gladwell?).  And for the record, Will Ferrell Doppelganger took the shuttle; chirpy woman is looking distinctly less chirpy and a lot more bored; the granddaughter is also much smarter than her grandson but he is doing well with math so maybe he'll be a future accountant!; the other book woman has since switched to a magazine; and everyone is still really, really bored.

I sincerely hope you all have had better mornings!