So, Madonna and I could totally be like, SISTERS...

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Last month, a lovely blogger I follow did this thing about loving her body, and it got me thinking about my body and if I love it and if I do why do I keep feeding it the worst crap you could put into it and why do I let cuts go untreated like the bloody papercut I got on my middle finger the other day and still stings like a BEAST.

Well...first, because it's a papercut, and what can I really do about that?

And second, Chipotle is just so damn good.

Anyway.  I'm not even going to get into all my body issues (which are, thankfully, much less today than they used to be); and I am sure as hellzzzz not going to post photos as the brave Jayka and all those preceding her did.  Firstly, because I will break my camera doing that.  Secondly, I will break my computer pulling that up.  Thirdly, I will break all my readers' faces if they see it.

Or it's because I'm too lazy and I don't feel like fiddling to get a semi-decent picture of my nails.  Whichever.

For those who didn't see the post, part of it was taking pictures of 5 features on her body that she liked.  The entire moral and thought behind this blog "meme" (it's not really a meme but I don't know what else to call it) is something I strongly support.  As a woman girl young lady (I'm not a girl, not yet a woman...), I understand the pressures of looking certain ways, wearing certain things, making sure certain things don't spill out or spill over or stay put.  Hell, I think anyone just as a human in society can understand that.

I'm not going to do 5 things, but there is one thing about my body I'm going to talk about: my teeth.

Specifically, my two front teeth (all I want for Christmas is...except I do have them, FYI.)

The thing is, I have a gap in my front teeth.  Not Vanessa Paradis-style or Mike Tyson-like or Anna Paquin even.  I guess Madonna, but maybe not as much.  But it is a gap, and it is there, and you can see it in most of my pictures.  I'm kind of lucky in that somehow, not many people notice it--real life or pictures.  My bottom lip tends to cover part of my front teeth when I smile, so it blends it out or something.  I don't know.

Anyway.  Before people ask, yes, I have had braces.  For three torturous years, and of course during the end of my high school career; so every prom picture, every grad photo, every celebratory snapshot is me rockin' that silver smile.  When I got my braces off (mercifully a month before I started college), my teeth were straight.  But I didn't wear my retainers as much as I should have -- they hurt, ok?!  they weren't the normal metal wire retainers! -- and eventually my teeth shifted.  They're not as bad as they used to be, but they're still not directly straight.

People have asked me if I wanted to get it fixed.  And not just my dental hygienist, regular people and friends and once this very odd man at the shop I was in.

That was a weird day.

I get it, ok?  Some people are really averse to awkward teeth.  I'm not saying I don't get a shiver every time Kirsten Dunst smiles or my eye doesn't twitch when Steve Buscemi shows that tooth.  There's something oddly beautiful about a pair of straight, white, normal sized teeth (I'm looking at you, Hilary Duff and those horrible veneers).  But I don't hold it against anyone when they don't have perfect teeth.  I still watch Kirsten Dunst movies (that is an entire other issue we will not discuss), I think Steve Buscemi is actually one of the best actors I've seen, and I'm glad Hilary Duff made relatively something of herself beyond Lizzie McGuire.

The thing is, I like my gap.  I really like it, actually.  It's just another thing that's off about my face and I think it somehow adds character.  Maybe I'm wrong about that, but does it really matter?  It's what I believe.  I always liked the gap, and I remember being slightly sad when I learned the braces would get rid of it.

Guess I won that battle, huh?

I understand that it is a turn-off to some people.  I've seen people literally grimace when I smile and they see my teeth (at least, I think it's because of the gap...hmm...perhaps should think this out a bit better...), and fine, I'm not going to fault you for thinking a gap-toothed smile is unattractive.  We all have our superficial standards.  I mean, I will most likely not want to date you if you're blond, but I'm nice enough to overlook that. You're welcome.

But really, if you're going to use my gap-toothed smile as the reason you don't want to throw out a friendship line for me, I don't want to be your friend/girlfriend/lover/anything.  Because if you're not going to make the effort to love me in spite of a gap in my front teeth, I am damn well willing to bet you will not make the effort to love me in spite of all my other numerous faults--the ones that matter, that make a difference.

In conclusion of this rambling mess: I have a gap in my front teeth. And it's not going anywhere.  Go ahead and hate it, but don't hate me for it.


Stephany April 18, 2010 at 6:53 PM  

I love this post! Rock those front teeth, girl. As long as you're happy and comfortable, that's all that matters. And really, if someone is judging your personality on your gap-tooth, they have to be pretty shallow and not someone you want as a friend anyway.

jayka :) June 26, 2010 at 8:51 PM  

i can't believe i missed this the first time around! great post :) i too have had braces, except i had mine for four & 1/2 years because i had previously fractured my jaw, BUT did not wear my retainer and i am so blah about my teeth no being perfect, but i try to let it go. anyway. I will be sure to check your blog more often, i am lovin it :)

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I'm fairly obsessed with penguins, Peanuts (the comic), and the TV show Friends. Parentheses may or may not be (over)used in this blog, and books will pretty much be the only thing I ever talk about because they are my One True Love.


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