Up vs. Down

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Some days are Up days. You laugh, you smile, you see your friends. Good things happen, maybe bad things will happen, and definitely things you'll have forgotten by the next hour - but in the end, the day is an up.  Maybe you have an eventful day and go to Disneyland and ride all the rides twice and run into an old friend and you're exhausted and happy. Or maybe it's a regular day, you go to work, you send emails, you eat your meals, you come home and hang out on the couch and go to bed in your normal routine.  These days are just Up.

And then there are the Down days.

The days where you wake up and it feels like your covers are two ton pounds each and centered right on your chest. Where you roll to the side to escape and find only darkness. Where every waking moment is a swirl of loss and sadness and disappointment. Maybe you'll have sparks of hope, those tiny moments where you can see being pulled out of this Eternal Down-ness and you'll make a plan or be productive or reach out to grab onto thinly veiled hope. But then you turn your head and the thoughts catch up and suddenly things are bleak and worthless again, and it's like you'll never pull back to the surface again.

...i'm trying. wait for me.


Vivian December 9, 2011 at 3:10 PM  

Girl, I have those EXACT down days, too. You just have to constantly remind yourself that you have a loving family, great friends, and are lucky to wake up in a warm bed, etc. It may seem futile to force yourself to remember these things and sometimes it still doesn't work, but you still have to try. I'm here if you ever want to talk <3

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I'm fairly obsessed with penguins, Peanuts (the comic), and the TV show Friends. Parentheses may or may not be (over)used in this blog, and books will pretty much be the only thing I ever talk about because they are my One True Love.


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