Thursday, July 1, 2010
I would have made the effort and worked for it.
I would have loved you from afar and hoped in the distance.
I would have picked up your phone calls and answered your texts and responded to your IMs.
I would have driven to have dinner when we both had the time and brought money for my share even though I knew you'd insist you would pick up the tab. I'd have left the tip.
I would have shaken hands with all your friends and made small talk and learned all about the people you find worthwhile.
I would have listened to you talk about your long days at work and given you back rubs when the tension was too much and bought you a celebratory drink when you got the promotion.
I would have supported your dreams, the ones that want to change the world and alter our lives. I would have believed in you.
I would have hugged you when you needed it, and even when you didn't.
I would have kissed you when I saw you because I was happy to see you, to finally get to be with you.
I would have made you laugh, especially on the days you never thought you would.
I would have only complained a little bit when you forgot important dates, like my parent's anniversary or my brother's birthday or that day that terrifies me.
I would have kept you company during those long trips and endless nights of work.
I would have driven you home after one too many drinks with your buddies. I'd even try to parallel park your car.
I would have let you read my writing and get inside my head, like you once told me you wanted to.
I would have gone to your silly basketball games, even though you know I hate that sport. And even though you would insist it was ok, I didn't have to, I would have gone anyway.
I would have tried to understand that bit about your heritage that you described as "complicated."
I would have introduced you to all my friends. Proudly, holding your hand, secretly gloating because I was with you and they weren't.
I would have shown you my favourite spot in my city, and gone with you to yours.
I would have let you choose what music to listen to in the car. Most of the time, anyway, until that weird jazz station you like started lulling me to sleep.
I would have.
If you had let me.