If You Really Knew Me...

So, anyone else watch this MTV show "If You Really Knew Me..."?  I still can't quite figure out how scripted it is, how edited down and shaped it is, but I'll take it at face value.

For those who don't know what it is, it's marketed as a real life "Breakfast Club" (which I have to say kiiiiiiiind of offends me).  Each episode focuses on one high school and follows 5 kids who are all from different "cliques": jock, loner, band geek, cheerleader, etc.  These kids go through "Challenge Day," an in-school seminar that focuses on getting to know your peers, getting you to open up and discover who someone is.  A small section is when they put about 8 students together into a group and are supposed to finish the sentence "If you really knew me, you would know..."  The kids open up, some choosing to come out as homosexuals, some revealing they are self-abusers (cutters), some telling how lost they are, even the star-quarterback admitting he doesn't actually like football.

Regardless of how altered the show is, it is still a relatively good message.  You simply never know the story, the life of anyone around you. The person you walk past could be suffering, may have a broken home, may be considering suicide. The person you walk past may have just had a racist act committed against them, may feel guilty for something they had, is somehow unsatisfied with their life. You simply never know.

The universal sign for "I Love You." 
The show uses this during their Challenge Day seminar to express support.

We did something similar to this in my high school.  It was really early into high school, and I'm not sure how much of it was to overcome barriers so much as to simply get everyone to know each other.  Whatever the goal, it did have an impact on me, even then.  I was partnered with a guy I've mentioned on this blog before, Cook.  He's a stoner through-and-through, having been coming off a high when we were doing the activity.  It was odd and surreal and to my 9th grade brain I was utterly confused about the situation, but I still remember a fondness that overtook me about him after he told me a few things about who he is.  When someone exposes parts of your life that you know most others aren't privy to, a certain caring is instilled regardless if you want it or not.  And to this day, that fondness for him is still there; even though I do not approve his drug use at all, even though we don't talk anymore and rarely talked after that day, even though he chooses to smell roses in the field rather than get the baseball and I get traumatized as a result.

It's said often, but the lesson always bears repeating.  Don't judge others, because you never really know what they're going through or who they are.

If you really knew me...

....you'd know I feel much more than I let on.

....you'd know I don't let myself love anyone because I'm too broken to try.

....you'd know that I constantly feel disappointed in myself.

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